


The Unexpected

by ManaMoiMemeMoitie



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Speech Cut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-08
Updated: 2012-03-08
Packaged: 2018-01-08 15:47:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1134504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ManaMoiMemeMoitie/pseuds/ManaMoiMemeMoitie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A bully (Amber) who has just been given news that the girl she has been bullying (Jane Jenkins) has been reported dead. Jane had committed suicide. In this short monologue we read how Amber's home life affects her bullying and how the death of Jane affects her as well.<br/>Written by Elizabeth Joan Walters</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Unexpected

The Unexpected  
The phone rang on a Sunday morning. I didn’t know who it was but once i picked it up, I heard the typical recorded message of my school. Only it wasn’t a regular one call saying what was going on for the week, like anyone actually cared. It said, “I’m sorry to say” in a stereotypical school one call voice, “that one of your classmates, Jane Jenkins, has been reported dead. She committed suicide. Please attend the funeral Wednesday November 8th to support and offer your condolences to her family. If any of you would like to say a few words for Jane please contact me at . . .” I dropped the phone and ran out of the house in my pajamas. I knew this girl. I ran into the woods slumped down near a tree and just cried, repeating the words, “I killed her, I killed her. I made her commit suicide. It’s my fault she’s dead. Holy shit I just killed someone.”

God I was awful to Jane. She had everything; she was sweet, pretty, had a good home, nice siblings, and parents who loved her. While I was tall with sharp facial features, ruthless, lived in a shack, had no siblings or friends, and one parent whom I took care of. She had everything that I wanted. And I desperately wanted to take that from her. I would just rag on her all the time. I would knock her books out of her hands and "accidentally" kick them across the halls. I would take her glasses and throw them on the ground. I would just shove her into the lockers and not care if she was hurt or not. I would call her ugly when she looked drop dead gorgeous. Everytime she did something good I found a way to twist it. Everytime she talked about her family I could make her story sound terrible. Later on she started to look worse and worse. She stopped taking care of herself, she looked ungodly skinny, she always wore long sleeves, and then one day she just ended it.

If you haven’t guessed or couldn’t guess I was the bully. I say because once something like that happens, once you hear that someone you bullied killed herself because of you, you don’t really know what else to do. The little confidence that you have is just shot, gone completely because nothing can be worse than knowing that you took part in someone’s suicide mission. On the plus side, you never do that to anyone again, but the fact that it took you something as big as that to make you realize what you are doing and what you are capable of doing. That’s the worst part. Knowing that you bullied someone to the point of their death. Knowing that if you would have just stopped and let her be then she would still be in school walking the halls, talking to her friends, getting good grades, being herself. Being her cute loveable self. Please don’t let get anyone to the point of suicidal thoughts because once you hear that they’re dead there’s no going back. You will watch your knees crumble, you’ll be weakened, you won’t be able to feel your legs, and the next thing you know you’re in the woods or on your bed or somewhere where you’re not entirely sure how you ended up there just crying. I promise you will feel like shit after hearing that type of news. 

After I had calmed myself I went back home. Duh where else would I go? When I walked into the house my mom was on me like a freaking plague of course with alcohol in her hand. What the hell else would she have with her? She started yelling, screaming, calling me a piece of shit for making her wake up to an empty house in the morning, and then she tried to slap me but I was not in the mood to deal with her. When she brought her hand back to slap me, I grabbed her wrist tightly so she wouldn’t move it, slapped the bottle out of her hand, and just punched her right in the face. Wrong? definitely. Did I care? not even a little bit. She just fell to the ground with a bloody nose and watched me walk up to my room confused and not knowing what to do. Typical. When I came back downstairs dressed and ready for work she was passed out right there exactly where I left her.

She was my mother and no matter how broken she was I took care of her the best way I knew how. Hell I was broken too. Where do you think I get it from? But things kind of get difficult sometimes like when she tries to hit me or whatever else she attempts to do. Sometimes she wins and when I don’t feel like dealing with her I win. Not exactly a fight to be proud of, but sometimes I just can’t deal with her and that’s how I do it. Not the best way but it shuts her up and makes her stop. One thing you have to understand, even though I don’t really care about a lot of people in this world my mother is still my mother and I’m going to protect her as much as possible from the rest of the world at least.

When I went into work that day my boss came up to me and said,  
“Amber what are you doing here?”  
“What do you mean?”  
“Didn’t something happen to someone at your school?”  
“Yeah what’s your point?”  
“Amber you need to go home”  
“No I need to work. I really need to work. If you need to put me on an extra shift then that would be perfect.”  
“Amber are you sure?”  
“Yeah positive. Why wouldn't I be sure it's not like I cared about her."  
"Okay Amber, go ahead"

I can't say I was that pleasant at work that day, but the boss knows me, my story, and feels sorry for me. Actually whether I like it or not, knows how my head works. How I think and how I feel. She knows when I'm keeping something in or faking my emotions. I just love it when people can see through me. 

When I went home my mom was still passed out on the floor to the point where I should have been worried but I wasn't. I moved her from the floor to her bed. She doesn't weigh very much do it's not like it was all that difficult. It when she wakes up that you have to worry about her. 

The next day when I went into school I walked straight to the office and told the principal that I would like to say a few words for Jane. She looked at me surprised but since she offered I took it. She couldn't turn me down since apparently I was one out of three people who wanted to say something for Jane anyway. 

I didn't really know what I was going to say but I wrote down some ideas and went from there. 

I went into the church, say down in a pew, pulled out a knealer, and prayed. 

They called for anyone who would like to say a few words for Jane. So I got up nervously and walked to where the other two were standing. I was last of course. While I was standing with the others, everyone just stared at me with that look, you know the one. That "what the hell is she doing?" Look only it was a mix of that one and "this bitch, look at her trying to prove something." Well sorry but I don't see any of the coming up here to say a few things for her. 

I was after some girl name Luise. I don't think I had ever seen her before in my entire life. She glared at me coming down from the alter. I ignored her like everyone else I was ignoring. 

I went up, took a deep breath, and began to speak. 

"I know you are all very confused on why I am here. Gosh, I don't even know hy I am here. I guess I just have things to say that can't go unsaid. I was a total b-. . . I was not nice to Jane at all. And I know that to all of you I am just the school bully because that's what I am. Can't say I'm proud of it at all in any way. For gosh sakes I just caused an innocent girl to commit suicide. I ruined her life and he family's life. I owe a sincere apology to Jane's family. I owe a heck of a lot more than that but I can't give it to them. You know what I have given to them? I have given them pain an suffering not to mention the awful movement of having bury their own child. I will never be able to give back hat I took from this family. NEVER. No matter how many of you don't believe me I am truly and sincerely sorry. You all need to know this. I am a bully. I'm not going to be anymore. You people may not know this but like every bully I did it for a reason. I had reasons they were poor excuses for reasons compared to what I did to Jane. But no ones life is easy and we all have a different ways to cope some more harmful to the people around you than others but still existent. You have no idea what it was like for me to get that phone call. To hear that I had a part in and was basically the whole reason for a sixteen year old girls death. I cried and I'm still crying. So please don't do this to anyone. Don't torture and torment someone just because you think your life is hell. You tormenting someone else will come back to haunt you in the end. I am so sorry that I had every part in Jane's suicide I wanted to be like her but instead I killed her. She might not have been the most popular but he will always be in he back of my mind and my inspiration to be better. So if you don't listen to another word that I have to say or the rest of your life, listen to this. Don't bully them it's not worth the pain you cause yourself nor is it worth the pain you will cause this person and their family.”


End file.
